I'm Done
by entre-lagrimas-y-suspiros
Summary: Callica. One-shot. Set six months after Brave New World. Erica is ready for something more formal but Callie isn't.


I'm Done

I look across the table at her and take her in. She's laughing again probably about some stupid thing I've said. I tend to say a lot of stupid things around her but I don't care because as long as I can make her laugh then I don't mind acting like an idiot and saying things that would've been unthinkable a year ago. But then, year ago, Callie had yet to shine her wonderful warmth and light on me.

A year ago I was still the new Burke, thoroughly dislike by the entire hospital and even hated by Bailey. It still amazes me how much my life has changed in such a short span of time. Inviting Callie and Sloan for drinks after that horrible surgery has to rank up there with the best decisions I've ever made. Maybe it is the best ever because now I'm sitting in front of Callie watching her laugh, pouring the last of the wine into our glasses, and smiling at her as she tries to catch her breath for the fifth time in the last minute.

She's gorgeous and perfect. I touch the blue and yellow box I've been holding in my lap through dinner and smile again. I've no doubt in my mind this is what I want but the nerves still make my stomach hurt, even more than when I bought it, because I don't know what to expect from Callie.

I want this but I don't know if Callie does.

I place the small box right in front of her and she stops laughing instantly. She's looking at me now with curiosity and something so close to panic that I feel my nerves turn into nausea.

I swallow it down and wait for her to say something, anything. She doesn't.

"Open it."

Her face doesn't change but she opens the box and pulls out the necklace. Callie stares at the single diamond dangling of the simple chain then back at me and the panic hasn't left her face. If anything its gotten worse and I'm infinitely glad I didn't buy a ring. A ring might have sent her running for the door.

"Erica…what?"

It's not her birthday and today isn't an anniversary of any kind. After six months of serious dating, after six wonderful months of spending all our free time together, after numerous dinner dates and Callie sleeping over most days, after four months of finding out that our amazing chemistry extends to the bedroom, I just wanted to give her something. Something to let her know how much I care, how precious she is to me, how hard and fast I've fallen in love with her. It's not a proposal but I do want something more formal than just dating.

"I thought maybe we could…maybe" I take a breath and say what I've wanted to say. Fast and honest. "I love you."

Her eyes grow big with shock and she's shaking her head. "Erica I…I don't want to fall in love…I…this was fun…I have fun with you but…"

I feel my throat constrict and my eyes begin to sting. My hands shake, my hands never shake. It hurts and it comes out the only way I've ever been able to manage it anger. "Then I guess we're done. I'm done."

I stand and stare right into her eyes trying to read anything that might give me hope but the tears are clouding my eyes.

"I'm sure you can find your way out."

I'm half way to the stairs when I hear her say my name but I don't stop because the tears are wetting my cheeks and I'm not about to let her see how bad this hurts.

How bad she's hurting me.

XXXXXX

When I'm inclined to think about it I have to admit that I can understand why Callie doesn't want to fall in love again. She's gone through a lot in the year that I've known her and I know she went through hell before I ever came to Seattle Grace. So I can understand her being excruciatingly careful with her heart. But I'm heart broken, I have no appetite to speak of, my eyes still sting from crying all night and for the first time in my life, I have to think about steadying my hands. So I'm not that incline to put any effort into understanding Callie at the moment.

I'm just glad I don't have any surgeries today.

I look up from the salad I've been playing with as Mark takes the seat next to me. I give him a pointed look hoping he gets that I'd rather be alone. This look usually has the desired effect but today it goes over his head.

"What do you want Sloan?" We're not friends. Even after almost a year, we are still not friends. I tolerate him because, for some reason, Callie genuinely likes him. I don't hate him anymore but we're still not friends.

"What did you do to Callie?"

"Why?" I haven't seen her all day. I've been consciously avoiding her and I'm sure she's doing the same. It's only been half a day and I already miss her.

"I thought you were the biggest bitch in hospital but today Callie is giving you a run for your money. So what'd you do to her?"

I take a sip of my soda. "Maybe she just figured out what a jackass you are."

"How come she's not here?"

I glare at him. "We don't always eat lunch together."

"Yes you do. If you don't want to tell me fine but fix it Hahn because I want my Callie back."

I feel my face heat up and I have to control the urge to throw my cup at his pretty little head. "You can have her."

His fork stops in midair. I glare at him again, just for good measure, and leave.

XXXXXX

Callie has been pissing everyone off for a week now. She's been late to work and has an attitude from hell. Even Bailey is actively avoiding her now and Bailey faces up to everyone. No one wants to be near her and I think she has officially snatched the biggest bitch title from my hands. Considering I'm supposed to be the bitch and that I was the one that got my heart broken, her bizarre reaction is almost comical but not quite because it's Callie.

I've heard a few whispers that this was like a throw back to the dark days when her marriage was falling apart around her. If this is what it was like I'm glad I wasn't here to see it because I might have stabbed O'Malley. But mostly the whispers make me ashamed that Callie regressed because of me.

The shame doesn't leave me as one week turns into two and then three. But I'm too proud and still too hurt to try to make peace with her. I'm too proud to admit that my hurt feelings have doubled not out of anger but because I miss her, because I need her.

Avoiding her is no longer an option when Mark grabs my arm one morning and almost drags me away from the nurse's station. I don't struggle because Mark has a few inches and about fifty pounds of pure muscle on me plus I doubt a fight between two attendings would make Richard happy.

"What do you want Sloan?"

He does not stop walking. "I need you to help me with Callie."

"Why would I do that?" I wanted to ask what's wrong with her but my brain doesn't seem to be connecting to my vocal chords.

"Because you're her best friend, and if I remember correctly her girlfriend. Now get in there." He says pointing at the door of the third floor on-call room.

I don't move. "Last time I checked you were her friend too. No, let me guess you're only a friend until one needs you."

He is smiling at me but its not charming, it vicious. "And you're only a girlfriend till your girlfriend needs you."

I should have seen that one coming. "Shut up Sloan. You don't know anything about it."

"You're right I don't because neither of you would tell me. I get that you wouldn't but Erica she's not you. She's not as controlled. Callie needs to work her shit out in the open or it starts eating away at her and pretty soon we'll be looking at a nuclear melt down unless you do something. So go in there and do something."

I feel the shame and guilt wrap around me again. I'm already responsible for Callie's regression and I will not be responsible for a melt down, so we'll just have to figure something out.

He looks at me funny when I laugh but seriously when Mark Sloan is giving you relationship advice you know you hit rock bottom. I hate admitting he is right but he is. I can't leave knowing she isn't ok. I can't leave at all.

"Fine."

"Good luck." He smiles at me.

I glare at him before he walks away. We are still not friends but I'm starting to think there might something to him being good-guy after all.

I walk into the on-call room and shut the door behind me.

I can see Callie in the lower bunk. My bravery fails me and I want to run before remembering that I don't run away from anyone. "Callie" I say her name softly as I sit on the edge of the bed not too close.

She rolls over and looks at me with sleepy surprised eyes. She doesn't look too good. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

_Maybe because you're drunk_ jumps to the fore of my mind but I don't say it. Don't want to piss her off. "Sloan said you weren't feeling well."

"I'm fine just a little hung over."

That was an understatement if I ever heard one. I could smell the alcohol seeping out of her pores.

"You should have called in sick." I brush away a strand of hair that's matted with sweat to her forehead.

She stops my hand with her own. For a minute I thinking she would push my hand away but she just holds it. "Why do you care Erica? I thought you were done with me."

I only stare at her praying my eyes don't fill with tears. I'm not ready to talk about it. I'm still hurt.

"Isn't that what you said, that you were done with me. So why do you care?"

"I care, you know I do but we are not going to have this conversation here."

Her thumb begins caressing the back of my hand. "Why not?"

I shake my head as I feel my body react to her caress. Callie is alluring in I way I cannot fight. "Because this is an on-call room and you're hung over. You need to go home."

"I want to talk."

"Not now. Not here." I try to pull away but she won't let go.

"Erica…"

"No" I can hear my voice begin to shake, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Erica"

"Not here. I work here, Callie, so I don't want them to see me cry. I don't want them to know how much pain I'm in right now. I don't want them to know that you broke my heart." My voice is almost inaudible as begin to choke on my tears. "So not here."

"Erica," She says my name gently and tugs on my hand until I fall into her arms.

"I'm sorry." Callie says over and over again as I cling to her, my tears wetting her scrubs.

As the minutes tick by I loosen my hold on her gradually. When I pull back she tells me I look like Rudolph. "Yeah well at least I don't smell like a bar rag."

We don't laugh but at least we're smiling at each other.

"Are we ok?" Her voice is tight but there aren't any tears in her beautiful brown eyes.

"We better be because I'm not done with you Torres not by a long shot."

The smile she gives me is blinding. I return it. Callie releases my hand after I give hers a gentle squeeze.

"Erica, you want to come by the apartment tonight?"

"Yeah" Its been three weeks since we've spent any time together so I'm more than willing to accept any invitation from Callie even if it means having to see Yang outside of the hospital.

I turn towards the door.

"Erica, do you still have my necklace?"

I nod because I'm not sure I'm ready to discuss _that _just yet. We've just made up and the last thing I want is to have another falling out. The last thing I want is to be hurt again.

"Can you bring it by the apartment tonight?"

I smile and feel tears sting my eyes again. "Yes."

"Ok."

"Ok. I'll tell Richard you're going home."

"I'm not."

"Callie you can't work smelling like a bar rag."

She shakes her head at me, a smile tugging at her lips. "I'm not. I'm going to sleep it off and then go home."

"Alright, I'll check on you later."

I'm halfway to the door when she calls me again. "What?" My voice is a bit exasperated because I have to find Richard and tell him she's too 'sick' to work and I have a job to do. I have a very important job to do and a surgery in less than an hour.

"I love you too."

"Yeah?" I asked like an idiot.

"Yeah." She echoes as her smile turns into laughter.

Usually hearing her laughter is at the top of my list, especially if I caused it, but right now all I want to do is stop her laughter with a kiss. I cross the room in three strides and as I press my lips against hers she stops laughing. I don't miss the laughter so much because her hands are in my hair and she's pulling my body flush against hers. So I don't care about the patients and surgeries waiting for me on the other side of the door. I don't care about anything because Callie said she loved me and she's kissing me like we're not done.

FIN


End file.
